On My 35th Birthday

My hands are looking older. Today I am 35, half way to 70. Aging is not something that American culture values. I would say it is something we dread.

In my 20's I felt like life was quickly slipping through my fingers. Maybe it was the shell shock of motherhood jolting me out of childhood. I don't know. But, I do know that I felt old. Crazy, huh? In 2004 on my 29th birthday I had an epiphany: my birthday is worth celebrating. I'm alive and God is not finished with me. My children were jubilant about my birthday. Why wasn't I? When did I lose the anticipation of another great year? I could be in the grave but God has granted me more life. He has plans for me.

Proverbs 31:25, "Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come." This is my birthday prayer. I want to live in hope. I want to throw my head back and laugh at the time to come. I want to celebrate all that God has done so far and believe that He is crafting a beautiful future for my good. I want to put my hand in my Lord's and hold on for whatever He has planned.

Corrie ten Boom often said, "The best is yet to be." Spending time in a Nazi concentration camp changed her point of view from temporal to eternal. If Corrie had hope for the future why can't I? No matter what, with Jesus, "The best is yet to be!". He is our security if we will trust in Him. He will not let us go and no one can pluck us from His hand. I tremble as I write this. But, He is my confidence.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

Acts 13:36, "For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, fell asleep, and was laid among his fathers and underwent decay;"

Corrie ten Boom, Where Have You Been All My Life?

A friend I went to college with posted a Corrie ten Boom quote as her facebook status about a little over a month ago. It has stayed with me. "There is no pit so deep that the love of God is not deeper still."

Because of this and knowing that Corrie had been a concentration camp survivor I decided I needed to do a little more reading on Corrie ten Boom. Our church library has a book I borrowed Sunday called Not I, But Christ. I also checked out The Hiding Place to read to the kids this summer. Can I just say that it is A-MA-ZING?! I feel like I have found a companion of the heart in Corrie. It is comforting to me to know that she faced such horrific times and events and still had God's joy, peace, love, and long-suffering. The Holy Spirit guided her through every day. He kept her to the end. Talk about the possibility for post-traumatic stress syndrome! How did she go on after what she had endured? She seemed by nature to possibly have been a fearful person but she depended on the Lord and He absolutely took care of her. She believed God had no problems only plans. She came through the Holocaust with flying colors.

She often quoted this little poem. The author is unknown.

Cowardly, wayward, and weak

I change with the changing sky.

Today so eager and strong

Tomorrow not caring to try.

But He never gives in,

And we two shall win,

Jesus and I.

Her father taught her not to borrow from tomorrow's troubles. Someone in their neighborhood had died. It had scared Corrie. Her father asked her a question. When we travel when do I give you the ticket to get on the train? She responded just before we board. God gives us what we need when we need it. Here is one of her father's favorite sayings:

If He takes us by the hand, He holds us fast.

If He holds us fast, He leads us on.

If He leads us on, one day He will bring us safely home.

Seizing the Olympics

It has been so fun watching the 2010 Winter Olympics as a family. We have entered a new era! As a family we actually all sit down and watch the same thing and enjoy it collectively. Previously when the kids were smaller we would try to watch the Olympics but someone was always toddling off somewhere and the little ones had no interest and wished we would watch some cartoon instead. The desire to actually watch the Olympics was a little bit frustrating. Now all of a sudden "poof", attention spans have been developed no one is toddling to the danger of the stairs, we sit in anticipation as a unit waiting for the next Apollo Anton Ohno race to begin. The golden years have arrived I think. I wish I could press the slow motion button.

Saturday night mid-bliss I tearfully glanced around the room and realized that next Winter Olympics: Adalynne will be 14, Joseph will be 13, Eleanor will be 10, Sam will be 8, and Maren will be 4. I don't know why I think so far ahead. But, it does make me appreciate today a little more so I think it is beneficial. And, the Alex Brodine family is seizing this year's winter olympics. Do do, Do do, Do do do do do do! (The Olympics Tune)

Christ, My Life

Today, I looked at my mountain of laundry and said, "You are not my life." Then, I walked into my kitchen and as I stared at the piles of dishes on the table, the counter, and the stove, I declared, "You are not my life." I said this because Christ is my life. I died and my life is now hidden with Christ. My life is not in this temporary house. My life is the Lord Jesus. I turned on this Tim Keller sermon. I did the dishes but I reminded them and myself that they are not my life.

When I re-read this opening paragraph I think some people will think I have lost it and I am a fruit loop. I am not saying doing dishes is bad. I am saying it is not ultimate. Of course, the laundry needs to be done but it is not ultimate. And, at least for me I find myself feeling good about myself when my day goes according to my plan. And, I find myself quite frustrated when I am not achieving my ideal.

A clean, large, perfect home in the suburbs is a cultural ideal. It should not be where I get my value. Even if I live my American dream for 70 or 80 or 90 years I don't get to take it with me. And, my house isn't who I am.

You will love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind. You will not have any other gods before me.

An idol is not a little golden statue. And, yes we all bow to something. An idol is a good thing that we make an ultimate thing. An idol is something that when we have it we are satisfied and happy. An idol is something that makes us feel great when we give it what it wants. And, if we don't have it or meet it's cruel demands we are devastated. An idol is what drives us. An idol is what we live for. An idol is where we get our value. It is what we spend our time, our physical and mental energy, and our life on.

Lord, give me an undivided heart that I might praise your name.

Martha, Martha, you are worried about many things. Mary has chosen the one thing that is needed and it will not be taken from her.

I want the Lord to unite my heart and help me live for Him alone!

http://sermons2.redeemer.com/sermons/christ-our-life

*This is a link to my all time favorite Tim Keller sermon. Christ is changing me and I keep listening over and over and over because I need this truth. I want to be set free.

Home Sweet Home

This week I have been thinking about my perspective on my house. And, I think I had a realization and I wish I would've had it a long time ago. Well, it is one of those things that I think in my head I knew but not in my heart. And, it is dropping to my heart I think. So, drum roll....here it is.....My house is not my life! My life is lived in this house. Some days I think I have too much wrapped up in my house. If things are tidy and organized I feel like a "good mom and a good wife" and in that moment I am ready to be hospitable. If things are a mess I feel anxious, inferior, I wonder what is "wrong" with me, the thought of an unannounced visit makes me cower. Oh, YUCK!

Paul wrote something about what food people would eat. He said the food for the body and not the body for food. I think we could insert many other things in place of the word food there. Like the house for the family not the family for the house.

Too many days I have been driven by a never ending to do list. Now, I am not saying that I should give myself permission to live in a pig sty here. But, I think I need a heart change in the way I go about housework. And, I really need a heart change in the way I view family, guests, my home, where I get my value as a person, and the fear of what others think of me. Hope this is making sense.

I want my laundry done so that we will be warm and clothed and free to live life. But, having all my laundry done does not give me the golden star award. I am not more or less valuable when my laundry is folded and in the drawers. The status of laundry in my house is not all there is to Beth Brodine. Lord Jesus, free me from the lies I believe and give me a heart to serve my family with joy.

The Lord Never Gets Tired

Today towards the end of my group exercise class at the Y, I was getting tired. Out of the blue it occurred to me that feeling tired is a good gift. It forces me stop and rest (hopefully). It reminds me that I am not God.

Isaiah 40:31, "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

Please Change My Knee Jerk Reaction

Sad to say, but something I learned about myself while living in Sudan was when the going got tough I would blame God. The electricity would cut and I would think, "why didn't you stop this. I'm your missionary. I left the comforts of America. The least you could do for me is keep my electric going." My knee jerk reaction to suffering, difficulty, trials was not humility but pride. I was demanding. I was angry and resentful. I acted as if God owed me because I thought He did. So wrong and so so ugly.

This week I encountered an unexpected difficulty and I was disappointed to find that my knee jerk reaction once again is pride. At the very moment of my disappointment scripture, "count it all joy when you face trials and temptations of many kinds" immediately was my companion. I huffed and thought, "Count it all joy when You could have prevented this? You could've changed this! Why didn't you do it differently?" I am so ashamed of myself.

I am asking God for change. I am asking Him to give me a bent towards trust. I am asking Him to help me count it all joy. I want my knee jerk reaction to be humility. God have mercy on me.

God opposes the proud. He gives grace to the humble. Psalm 25:14, "The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear Him and He makes known to them His covenant."

Psalm 25:8, "Good and upright is the LORD; therefore He instructs sinners in the way . He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way. All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness, for those who keep his covenant and His testimonies."