The Hope of Constancy

I am entering a sweet season with my husband and children that I hope to sieze while it lasts. Traditions are finally in place and it finally feels natural to be the mom setting the tone for the holiday season in our home. This new sense has finally emerged after going through several years of grief and significant life changes.

My senior year in high school I cried at every major holiday or event thinking this will be "my last....at home" Some of my family members teased me about this. And, I think I was pretty melodramatic. But, I didn't want things to change. Getting together with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins was the BEST! I wished we could all be together more often, that every day could feel like a holiday, and we could stay the same for always. I knew that was impossible and cried my way through it.

Since high school my family really has changed a lot. Some family members (including my dad) have passed away. There has also been loss due to divorce. We have also added to the family through many marriages and births. These losses and additions have been a lot to adjust to. Some adjustments have been easier than others. Some I have liked and some I haven't.

It is strange to be the mom buying the gifts and baking the cookies but I am finally getting used to it and I am really am enjoying it. I see my kids secure and enjoying the holidays. They are counting down to our trip to Pappy and Nana's. Wondering how long it will be until they get to play with Brooklyn, Amorie, and Rebekah? Are the new babies coming into the family this year going to be boys or girls? It is a precious time. Again, I find myself like I was in high school wanting this season of life to go on forever and wishing it for my kids too. I know that it won't though. If I would let myself I think I could already cry my way all through these golden years. I don't know why I am this way. But, I am not going to cry my way through.

Instead I am going to enjoy the time I have with all those I love as much as I can. And, I am going to let this knowledge push me closer the My Hope, Jesus Christ the Constant One. He is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever. And, some day I will be with Him and all the ones I love who love Him. And, we will all live in the same house and it will never end. It will go on forever and it will be like a holiday, everyday.